problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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