The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize