I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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