I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
my being single is dangerous.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
