I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize
