My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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