quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He better not be in your backpack
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
