I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize