I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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