she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
