And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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