Joe is yelling at the trees again.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
