Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
