i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
