just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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