Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize