so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
