I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
40s are totally the cure
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
