I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
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