so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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