perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
