Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
