took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
