I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
