Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
