Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
