she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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