he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
