When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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