i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
wow bdsm is so cute
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
