a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
