oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Someone shit on the floor
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
