____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
