I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
