you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize