I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just googled if crying burns calories
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
