end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
