Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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