Can Purell be used as lube?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
