My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
