weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
