Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
