what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
