think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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