I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
