You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
