a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
