need another drink. this is the easiest way
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
