I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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