dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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