Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
