we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
as a side note pls kill me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
