she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
