DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
