those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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