shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i believe in u and ur pee
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
