Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
