Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
this just has baby written all over it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
