how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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