I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
